40... yes, 40... YES, 40!

I know that age is just a number. The number of years that you have been alive on this planet. The number of birthdays celebrated once every 12 months. It's been interesting turning 40. A number of ideas, thoughts and feelings have been coming up over the last 6 weeks since my 40th birthday. I wasn't sure how I would handle turning 40. Would it just be another year, another number? Would I feel like my life wasn't where I wanted it to be or I hadn't fulfilled the things and checked off certain life goal boxes by the time I was 40 and feel bad about that? Or would I be more than ok, actually feel more grounded in being 40. Less filled with angst or drama about needing to accomplish certain things, knowing that life doesn't always happen the way we think it should or plan for ourselves. The answer is a resounding yes to all three. My thoughts and feelings have been a mixture of neutrality, taking stock in where I am in my life and being incredibly comfortable in my own skin and really owning and feeling that to my core.

I am realizing that I actually like myself. I enjoy my own company. I show myself a great more deal of care and love than I have previously in my life. I take less "crap" from people and set better boundaries for myself than I ever have before. I can't say that it is because I am 40. But what I can say is that turning 40 has had me take better stock in where my life is and who I am. I have realized that I have done a tremendous amount of work on myself in my 20's and 30's and I know it is by no means over, but I can take a breather for a moment and appreciate myself and all the work I have done.

So now, 6 weeks in to being 40, I am taking a moment to appreciate myself. Appreciate everything about myself. The good, the bad and the ugly so to speak. I am truly grateful for it all. Truly. To my core, grateful. My soul sings in God's love. Even that last sentence is something I never would have said before. I have always thought of my relationship with God as deeply personal and not something to ever share. I feel God in every cell of my body, I see God in everything and everyone and I have faith that I am here for a purpose beyond my own finite understanding, as we all are. I continue to open myself to God's gifts that he shares through me.

40, growing and loving...