Tuesday, September 20, 2016

My True Power



True Power is feeling and knowing who you are.
True Power is being of service, even if you don't feel like you have all the answers.
True Power is being able to pick yourself up on your dark days as much as it is being joy-filled on your light days.
True Power is being vulnerable and working through your fears.
True Power is sharing who you are authentically with yourself and others.
True Power is standing up for yourself even and especially when it's really difficult.
True Power is listening to your voice and not caring about how others view you.
True Power is exploring your interests, likes and going on your own adventures in life.
True Power is fully owning who you are... the light and the dark.

I truly need to take better care of myself. My health, my creativity, my relationships, my environment, my finances, my passions, etc. While my approach to life has gotten me where I am which has worked in many ways, it isn't working to the extent that I want it to. It's time to switch it up and really change my approach to my life. I am going to challenge myself for the next 30 days. I can do anything for 30 days. These are the things I am going to do for the next 30 days:

My Body/Health

I have a loving and nurturing relationship with my body. I eat food that is nourishing my body. I have fun cooking and finding new healthy recipes to make. I drink at least 8 glasses of water a day and I drink my vitamins every day too. I currently exercise 3 days a week for at least 30 minutes a day. Scout and I go on a daily 15 minute walk together. I find new ways to exercise that excite me like dancing, paddle boarding, hiking, etc.

My Creativity

I write every day. I am gentle and open with myself and my writing process. I read every day. I listen to writing podcasts a couple of times a week. I have set up a beautiful writing space for myself in my home. I paint or draw at least one time a week. I take myself on artist dates to museums, movies, the beach, the mountains, and any other place that strikes my fancy twice a month. I share my writing with my writing groups and friends. I explore all aspects of my creativity and I share my passion and enthusiasm for exploring creativity with others. I free myself of the pressure to be something or to have my creativity to mean something. I have the time that I need to experiment and grow in my creativity. I am a writer. I give myself permission to know that I am a writer. I have started my podcast by the end of 2016. I have given my first creativity workshop by the end of 2016 as well.

My Environment

My home is cozy, clean and organized. It is a place I love being and I love creating in my home. My car is clean and fun to be in. I take my car on adventures and I love to travel in my car. Traveling is something I do often. I love adventures and go on an adventure at least once a month. Whether it is a big trip out of the country or to another state or a small road trip for the day, I am going on an adventure at least once a month. My desk at work is clean, clear and organized.

My Spirituality

I mediate daily. I keep a daily gratitude journal. I speak with God each day and listen with my heart open. I read books that help me expand my consciousness and grow. I spend time in nature. I let go and open my heart to God every day. I do not expect that I know better than Gods plan for me.


My Relationships


I have authentic, real and honest relationships with my family, friends, and intimate relationships. I am in service to the highest good of those I love and share my thoughts and feelings openly and lovingly. My spend time with my friends after work and on the weekends doing fun things that we like to do together. I am my own very best friend always.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Today is the Day.. Time to Move



I am deciding that today is the day to start my regular exercise regime. I am putting it on my blog to hold myself to it. I am starting with a commitment of 3 days a week for the first month. I am exercising a minimum of 30 minutes each time. My weeks will go Saturday to Friday since today is Saturday and I am starting today. I have been having some stomach issues this last week so I don't feel like starting this, but it's time. I have to get serious. I am ready to continue to lose more weight. I have lost 85 pounds in the last year, now it's time to lose more. I have a goal of another 75 pounds this year. I can do it. Cleaning up my eating again and regular exercising, I know I can get back on track again.

This is my commitment to myself. I need to do this for myself. I know I can. It's time.

There have been a series of things happening in my life that have reminded me that I need to focus on what is important to me. I have gotten a bit stuck. I have let my focus be on other people or my job again and has become a distraction from what I really need to be focused on... Time to pull back and focus on the things that are really important to me and will help me and my depression. It's time. I will write a weekly blog post for myself to keep myself accountable.

Monday, September 5, 2016

A Billion Stars




Bring on the rolling hills and mountains to hike, green trees, fresh wind blowing through my hair, and beautiful open skies where I can see a billion stars. Bring on the land to work with my hands, good friends to share my life with, and laughter that hurts your belly. Bring on the pain that makes you grow, people that make you think and question, and the moments when the peace is overwhelming it makes you cry.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

The Land of "I Know"



The Land of I know is a safe place. A land of certainty and practicality. A teacher once said to me, "Your need to know will be your downfall." At the time I really wasn't sure what he meant. I could feel that it was big for me and would be a huge lesson in my life, but I truly didn't get what it really meant. I now realize it was that need for certainty. The need to control things in my life, sometimes at a grave cost. The cost is fun, the cost is adventure, the cost is the beauty of what can come out of taking a leap of faith or risking and jumping into the unknown. The vast land of the unknown now seems so much more appealing and fulfilling then the once comfortable Land of I Know.

Sometimes I get scared and resort back to the safety of The Land of I know. I have to jolt myself out of it. Usually through my creativity. Writing, dancing, a conversation with a good friend or family member, or through meditation. All I need is glimpse of what I am doing to myself by playing it safe. With that small glimpse, I can pull myself out of the comfort, safety and certainty I so desperately yearned for at one time in my life and I can appreciate the role it played but I now have a deeper understanding that I no longer need to have that role played out the same way.

Recently, someone I hold dear to me said he wanted to move to a 3rd world country and work with children in an orphanage. When he said this, everything inside of me screamed, "I want to go. I know there is more to this life than how I am currently living it. I have so many gifts that I could share with those children. I have so much love to share with those children. I want my life to change by being with those children. To me, life isn't about making money, buying a house, getting married, having children, the white picket fence dream isn't mine. It never was. I doubt it ever will be. I want to appreciate fully what it means to be alive. What it means to give of myself without the certainty of getting anything in return. Just to love, to be of service."

So I begin to plan my life in a very different way, from a very different place. From the Land of the Unknown. I am grateful beyond measure for this life, for my life and I want to share my love and gifts with those that need love.