The Land of "I Know"

The Land of I know is a safe place. A land of certainty and practicality. A teacher once said to me, "Your need to know will be your downfall." At the time I really wasn't sure what he meant. I could feel that it was big for me and would be a huge lesson in my life, but I truly didn't get what it really meant. I now realize it was that need for certainty. The need to control things in my life, sometimes at a grave cost. The cost is fun, the cost is adventure, the cost is the beauty of what can come out of taking a leap of faith or risking and jumping into the unknown. The vast land of the unknown now seems so much more appealing and fulfilling then the once comfortable Land of I Know.

Sometimes I get scared and resort back to the safety of The Land of I know. I have to jolt myself out of it. Usually through my creativity. Writing, dancing, a conversation with a good friend or family member, or through meditation. All I need is glimpse of what I am doing to myself by playing it safe. With that small glimpse, I can pull myself out of the comfort, safety and certainty I so desperately yearned for at one time in my life and I can appreciate the role it played but I now have a deeper understanding that I no longer need to have that role played out the same way.

Recently, someone I hold dear to me said he wanted to move to a 3rd world country and work with children in an orphanage. When he said this, everything inside of me screamed, "I want to go. I know there is more to this life than how I am currently living it. I have so many gifts that I could share with those children. I have so much love to share with those children. I want my life to change by being with those children. To me, life isn't about making money, buying a house, getting married, having children, the white picket fence dream isn't mine. It never was. I doubt it ever will be. I want to appreciate fully what it means to be alive. What it means to give of myself without the certainty of getting anything in return. Just to love, to be of service."

So I begin to plan my life in a very different way, from a very different place. From the Land of the Unknown. I am grateful beyond measure for this life, for my life and I want to share my love and gifts with those that need love.