My Forecast

Dealing with wanting to be thin and healthy overnight but knowing that isn't a possibility is messing with my emotions. I have been eating and exercising for 3 weeks consistently and doing really well with all of that. 95% of the last 3 weeks I have consumed under 1200 calories. I have been going to my trainer and coach for the last 3 weeks as well (3 days a week and 2 additional days on my own). I have also gone to my new Therapist who specializes in eating disorders for the last 3 weeks.

I feel great about all the things I am doing for myself. I feel better about myself and I know it will only get better. It's just that sometimes, like today, it's been a little bit more difficult. I didn't do well eating today. I only ate 650 calories. I skipped breakfast and forced myself to eat lunch and dinner. The funny thing about that is that my normal behavior is to overeat, not under eat. My mindset has really changed in these last 3 weeks. I am grateful for that beyond belief.

One of the things that has really helped has been exploring my creativity. I have been drawing and writing poetry and songs. I have been looking into starting dance classes, stained glass classes, voice lessons, production classes, etc. I am excited about diving even deeper into my creativity and finding new and fun outlets.

I started writing this blog yesterday and didn't finish it. The above paragraphs were from yesterday. I think the saying, "what a difference a day makes" is true, and I always need to remember that. Today, I feel great. Today, I know I can do anything. I wasn't depressed yesterday, trust me, I know depression. It wasn't that. It was dealing with the instant gratification fixation. Wanting results immediately. A tantrum like a 2 year old. I want what I want and I want it now.

So, here I am, I am going to be true to myself and my journey because every day is important and every day is part of my journey. The light days, the dark days and every shade in between.