Creativity Takes Courage

Earlier this morning I sat with my pen and paper in hand doodling as my imagination took flight. I wasn't there. I wasn't present with the paper or the pen. I was off, submerged in my imagination. At some point along the way I heard a voice say, "What are you doing? Seriously, what are you doing? You aren't a teenager, who gets to have their head in the clouds... you aren't a professional writer who gets to write all day instead of work a job... and besides... you won't be any good at writing when you come down from your cloud of daydreaming that you can let your imagination be such a large part of your life. Your imagination is not for the every day. It's just not realistic to live that way. Only very special people get to live in a place where their imagination supports them on a daily basis... and trust me Melissa, you are not that special..." I could go on and on, because believe me, that voice went on and on beyond what I just shared. I am sure you get the picture. Filled with thoughts and fears about not being "good enough", "worthy" or "failing" and with "failing" I then would prove to myself that ultimately I wasn't "good enough" or "worthy".

I know I am not alone in these thoughts. There are a million self-help books, videos and seminars designed to help you work through these issues with yourself. Trust me, I have read many of them. I have been to many different seminars and workshops and classes to learn how to love, value and appreciate myself. They have helped tremendously to learn about myself, the way I handle the world and myself is a continual process for me. One that I will never give up. It has taken me a lot to get to the place that I know I will never give up on myself again. I may stumble, I may have to continue to listen to and work through that voice in my head that says those things to me. When I stop to think about it, I realize, I have come so far... I know this because today my reaction to that voice was, "That is a silly voice who is just voicing my fears".

What do I do with fear when I recognize it now? I decide to acknowledge it and do the thing or things I need to do to move through that fear. After I heard the voice, I did the thing it wanted me not to do. I wrote. I wrote and wrote and wrote and then wrote some more. I would succeed at writing that morning. I would not let myself deter myself. I would not let my fear take over. I would write. I would express my creativity. I would dive to the depths of my soul and explore the vast universe. I imagine that I am made of space and stars waiting to be explored. The beauty of that vision is that I have made myself a universe waiting to be explored, just as the stars are waiting in the sky, so am I.

Today, I embrace that Creativity Takes Courage. Courage that I have in spades. Each time I step more fully into the vast universe that I am and put on my suit of courage, I tell myself, I love you, I love you, I love you! And the voice responds, "I love you more."