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You know how you think things are going one way, and then something happens to turn your world upside down and then everything you thought and was planning for is gone? Has that ever happened to you? Well, it happened to me about 6 weeks ago. I won't bore you with the details, or rather bore myself with them... I am mostly writing this because I am fascinated not with the actual details of what happened but by the process I went through over the last 6 weeks.
I went from total devastation, to glorious love for myself. In 6 weeks! I did things differently this time and it changed everything for me. 6 weeks ago I thought my life was going along one way. Planning things for the future, etc. Then the rug was ripped out from under me, at least that's how it felt. Initially, I looked at the situation in a negative way (I spent about 2 weeks there), but despite that negative place I still decided I was going to do things differently. Instead of sitting in bed with comfort food, watching romantic movies and crying to myself, this time, I decided I was going to do whatever it takes to love myself through my pain and pay attention to myself, pushing myself to make healthy choices for myself.
So, I made an appointment with a therapist, went to the gym and got a trainer who also turned out to be a life coach and is now my life coach, cried to a couple of key friends, stopped watching tv all together for the time I was in that head space, changed my diet completely (stopped eating sugar and carbs), decided to use my creativity as an outlet for my feelings (I drew and wrote), and kept telling myself over and over that enough was enough and I would not give up on myself.
After about 2 weeks, I started to feel things coming alive in me. I was coming alive, I was starting to feel free and get my voice back (the strong, intelligent voice that stands up for me, not puts me down). I stopped crying to my friends, I even stopped crying to my life coach and therapist. I started speaking from less of a victim place inside myself and started to own myself more and more. My body started to change, I felt lighter, brighter, and more beautiful. I started talking to the parts of my body I hadn't liked, and told them I loved them but that I was ready to release them. I was being loving to myself, truly loving and I meant it!
So, here I sit 6 weeks later feeling transformed by all the steps I have taken to take care of myself. To love myself. I have a very different view on life. I love myself in a completely different way, and I am only excited about how that will continue to grow. I have amazing physical results too. I have released 22 pounds. I have lost 1/4 inch on my neck, 5 inches off my chest, 1 1/2 inches off my bicep, 1/2 inch off my forearm, 6 1/2 inches off my waist, 5 1/2 inches off my hips, 1 1/2 inches off my upper thigh, and 1/2 inch off my calf.
Thought I would share my successes since I am proud of myself for making the shifts. I now think that the hardest times in our lives can be the biggest gifts, but it is a choice to make the changes we need to make or continue to see ourselves as victims. The outcome and the choice is always ours.
With love,
Melissa